Did you check out the beaches for waves and prospects for surfing? (Apocalypse Now)
Seriously, weren't you ever frightened that a mortar or a sniper or the likes could have ended your life right there?
The kick and adrenaline must be addictive. Do you miss it?
Being from Southern California and a degree in Biology (Marine), the oceans were my retreats from the stress of work. While I did and could surf, I never considered myself a surfer. I did partake in snorkeling and bodysurfing for R&R.
Yes, you were concerned. But those were just statistics and such harm would never happen to you. If one truly thought that their life would be cut short by the action around them ... then what the hell were they doing there in the first place. This topic requires another voluminous and complex response to be reasonably comprehensive. But in a nutshell ... In 'Nam I saw journalists fly in ... look around for a few days ... then take the next plane out. In retrospect, I think those 'escaped' early, may have had more courage than those of us that stayed out of ignorance, peer pressure or the desire to propel one's career upward by earning a war correspondent credential. I took my personal safety seriously and was always extremely aware of the action around me and what others were doing for their own personal safety.
I had to accept and endure looks of .... well ... glaring hatred, by the rank and file troops, ('grunts') ... when they found out I was a volunteer. I didn't get it at first. But after awhile it dawned on me that every single one of them (grunts) would take the next plane out of there if they could. If the next-plane-out opportunity was available to me, why didn't I take it. The grunts couldn't understand how someone who wielded such importance and responsibility as to be read/viewed by millions daily ... didn't have the brains to get the F*** out. And more importantly, the grunts couldn't fathom how I could regard my life so cheaply.
It is hard to come back after spending months or a year covering something as extreme and volatile as war, to take photos of the mayor giving a speech. Every time you came back, you swore never to go out again ... but in your gut you missed all the action and constantly scanned the headlines for the next hotspot ... the next firefight, in the world.
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
Apocalypse NowPS-
Apocalypse Now, I think, was a very accurate description of the Vietnam War. Across the entire history of the war, I believe every scene in the movie occurred at one time or another.