The problem is not that things can be "equivalent" despite being only "nearly identical" but that you will not define "nearly identical" otherwise than "what makes the answer come out how I want it to".
Ok, I'm confused by this terminology. Is 'nearly identical' related to the perceptual thresholds?
I do not have particular answers in mind. What would those answers be? I think that it is not particularly useful if I proclaim a certain value for perceptual threshold because 1) it might not apply to all viewers, and 2) I think that the conceptual framework of equivalence can be equipped with arbitrary perceptual thresholds, depending on application, i.e. it is a free parameter of the model.
If you fit the parameter to each individual comparison, of course the model will produce nonsense. Maybe that's what you are getting at. But if you set the parameter once for all comparisons, depending on your purposes, you can apply the model and get useful predictions.
For example: we all know that 35mm on DX is equivalent = nearly identical to 50mm on FX. But 35mm x 1.5 = 52mm (to two significant figures). And the DX sensor is not 24 x 16mm and the FX sensor is not 36 x 24mm. DX sensors have been as small as 23.1 x 15.4mm (D3000) but are currently 23.5 x 15.7mm (D500 and D7500; the D7200 is 23.5 x 15.6mm), FX is currently 35.9 x 23.9mm. So the DX crop factor is not 1.5, it is (currently) 1.53. To two significant figures, 35mm x 1.53 = 54mm.
But on FX at 2m 50mm at f/1.4 has the same DoF as 54mm at f/1.8! So if a one stop difference is so important when DX is compared to FX, why can you ignore a 2/3 stop difference and say 35mm on DX is equivalent to 50mm on FX?
Another example: if I use the 105/2.5 for a portrait the DX equivalent is 70mm (105/1.5; 105/1.53 = 69mm). DoF is the same for FX with 105mm at f/2.8 and 3m as for DX with 75mm at f/2.8 at 2.9m. By what non-arbitrary criterion are the DX framing and perspective not "nearly identical" to the FX framing and perspective? Of course, if I am using the 70-200/2.8G VRI its actual focal length at "70mm" and 3m is 75mm, which I would never know if someone had not tested it because its successor had marked focus breathing (http://www.bythom.com/nikkor-70-200-VR-II-lens.htm). Many lenses have actual focal lengths 3% or so different from the values they are designated by, even at infinity: if you can ignore that, how can you justify saying that 75mm is not nearly identical to 70mm?
I don't follow all your calculations, in particular those about DOF (did you take into account secondary magnification?).
Are you saying that because of generous evaluation, i.e. "70mm and 75mm yield very similar angle of view that I will consider, for my purposes, to be the same", they are indistinguishable? In practise, there are caveats because of the differences between nominal and actual focal length, focus breathing, distortion, etc. But all caveats aside, 75mm and 70mm are not exactly equivalent because it is a difference that can be measured or noticed (there will be things included in the 70mm shot that are not included in the 75mm shot). Again, if you set your thresholds of 'significantly different' to generous levels, you will simply ignore those measurable differences.
-----
I think that the criticism by Bjørn that you responded to was saying something else, but I may still be misunderstanding him.
His statement was that the list of criteria that are enumerated by Joseph James are too restrictive. To me, this means that if two pictures are the same to some precision, then they must have been shot with the same parameters on the same format under the same conditions, i.e. they must be the same shot.
My view is that because of the dimensionless nature of the digitally recorded images, given a model (any model) of the complete imaging chain (from the scene to the final resized image), and given two final images that are the same to arbitrary precision (even more so if perceptual thresholds are present), you cannot be certain that they were shot with the same parameters, i.e. they might have been shot with different parameters. This allows us (in theory) to get the same shot with different formats and parameters adjusted accordingly.
(If you disagree with this, what would be a model where it is always possible to say that if two images look the same, they must have been shot with the same parameters on the same format?)
In practise, there are limits imposed by availability of gear and physical limits (e.g. diffraction limits, maximum theoretical numerical aperture, etc.).
To me, it makes an important difference whether something is possible in theory, but sometimes may be hard to carry out precisely in practise, or whether it is impossible even in theory. YMMV.
Perceptual thresholds make it 'easier' to achieve this, not harder. If viewing conditions are very poor, all images look the same. Even under good but not exceptional viewing conditions, we get away with things like focal lengths not being the same by fractions of a mm, the entrance pupil not being at the same location, minor variations in exposures due to the tolerance of the shutter and aperture mechanism, etc.
Note that this is not the definition of equivalence that Joseph James is using, but a generalization thereof. Joseph James uses quite a simple model of imaging (but not too simple to be meaningless) and subdivides the comparison into a list of criteria, which makes his definition easier to use in practise.
An example for how this principle works was shown in the background blur calculation in Reply #184.